I am fortunate. Even through this loss, I have reminded myself of this each day.
I have a husband, family, and a group of close friends who don't always "get" what I am going through, but love me regardless. I have an excellent therapist that specializes in this kind of loss, great medical care to help us through whatever this SIF is throwing at us, and we live without having to worry about our next meal, or whether or not we can pay the heating bill. These are just a few of the things I try to remind myself of in my darkest hours.
There are many mothers in this world who lose their children everyday without the comfort of a family, a roof over their head, a safe society to live in, access to medical care etc. It could be worse. There are so many in this world, even those that have never lost a child, that have it worse. Poverty, war, famine, the list goes on an on.
There is no shortage of grief in this world, and no shortage of people that could use our help, in some capacity or another.
When we were marking Peyton's first birthday, I really wanted to find something positive to do in her name. I have all these grand plans in mind about a Peyton Foundation I hope to one day set up to support NICU families. Even then, during the nightmare of worry that was Peyton's life, I realized how lucky were were to be together, in a hospital that specialized in children, and on the receiving end of many random acts of kindness. I have often thought how much harder it would have been to be there as a single parent, or to find ourselves instead in some huge city hospital where we could have gotten lost in the shuffle. I felt frustrated as Peyton's birthday approached to not yet be in a place where I could carry something like this out, but I do believe that in time, my energy will return, my emotions will be lifted, and this idea will get off the ground.
I sent checks out to our usual charities, but still felt like something was missing. I wanted something new. Something unique for her special day. I was reading around on the internet, trying to get ideas when I came across (Carleigh's Momma) Holly's family blog and the story of Shalini, a little girl from India that Carly sponsors through Compassion International. I knew once I saw the picture (and checked out Compassion International on Charity Navigator) that this was what I wanted to do as Peyton's Birthday gift. So today, for show and tell, I am sharing with you, our little sponsor child Lizeth. She is from Bolivia, 5 years old, and just adorable. Sponsorship covers food, education, bible studies, medical and dental expenses, job training for her parents.... and... birthday parties! How fun is that? I don't know why I loved that my sponsorship would get her a birthday party, but it brought a smile to my face and welcoming this little child into our heart at a point when we were so missing Peyton, well it just felt right. I searched many children's profiles, but I knew once I saw Lizeth, that she was the one...Anyone that matches a fancy party dress with boots and a turtle neck is my kinda kid!
We just received our first picture of her, sorry the picture quality here is so bad, I don't have a scanner so I took a picture of her picture. Last week we responded with our own picture and a letter back to her: How do you like school? What do you do for fun? Etc. Etc. I am really looking forward to learning all about her and her family.
To see what others are showing and telling, click Here.
Please also send Lisette some love today. Her little baby girl, Lauren Samantha, was born into her arms this Monday, and into Heaven shortly after.