Friday, October 23, 2009


This should be a happy post.

Today marks eight years since I met hubs. I should be writing about that. I should be writing about how much loving this man, this amazing husband and father, has changed my life, and how grateful I am to share every experience with him.

I do, of course, feel all of these things, but for some reason that is not where my mind has gone. Instead, all day, I have found myself caught up in writing little Haikus. I am using the term Haiku lightly, because to be a true Haiku there would be some reference to nature and its connection to the human spirit, and these references are not found in mine. So, if you are a Haiku traditionalist, please take this as my preemptive apology.

Anyway, these little poems, concise in their traditional 5,7,5 syllable pattern have been floating through my head all day. It's really odd the way this happens, I often find myself thinking in poetry, but even for me, thinking in Haiku is pretty out of the norm. Realistically, I probably haven't written Haiku since maybe the first or second grade. Anyway, these are some of the ones scribbled down throughout the day.

My battered soul cries.
Miscarriage. Child loss. Now this?
It's too cruel for words.
Cruel fate you mock me.
Once allowing such high hopes,
in their wake - truth, pain.
There are no true words
to convey just how broken
my dreams feel right now.
Where is the justice?
So many go unwanted.
Mine, so wanted. Gone.
In flashes, I'm there
In her ear, "Shhh, It's Okay"
"I'm here...Mommy's here"

Feel free to comment in Haiku format if you would like, about this post, about your losses, about infertility, about anything really.


  1. oh wow, tall order to comment in haiku format!here's my best attempt:

    Eight years of beauty
    Once a mother and her hubs

  2. Beautiful and I love the haiku format. I haven't done this since first or second grade either. I didn't appreciate it back then, but all that has changed.

    Sorry but I am no good at it!

  3. I too feel very lucky throughout this all to have an amazing man by my side. I really, truly could not have made it to this point without him. I feel very bad for women who's partners are not emotionally supportive through loss of their child. I just don't know how you could survive without the support of those who should be closest to you... Hug your hubs extra tight tonight and remind him what an amazing father he is... ((hugs))

  4. Life is so unfair
    Taking sweet Peyton away
    Leaving broken hearts.

    Congrats on your eight years. Funny how the loss of our children leaves even the happiest days feeling bittersweet. I know you will be the best parents ever and that your beautiful Peyton will one day guide your future children down to earth and will watch over you all until you are reunited in Heaven. Sending you hugs

  5. such beautiful words
    from a beautiful mother
    my heart aches for you

  6. Im not good at the whole poem thing but I wanted to say congrats on your 8 years and great poem!

  7. your family bonds
    through ups and downs, joy and pain
    yet one is missing
    I am so sorry.

  8. You deserve much more
    than life has given your heart
    no words--only tears

    Amazing lady
    strong,bold,your dreams will take flight
    Take heart in its truth

    You are in this pain
    It rocks the world--shattering
    and you WILL survive

    Much much love...

  9. I'm hopeless at this but someone once said these words to me and I'm sharing them with you.

    'No one knows why Spring is born from Winter's labouring pains,
    why we must die a little before we grow again'

    ((hugs and ♥♥♥♥♥))

  10. life, love, happiness
    ready to enter your heart
    the future is bright

    hugs, honey and contrats on 8 years!

  11. pricked, poked and prodded
    is it empty again
    indeed it is empty yet again
    i long for it to be filled
    with love, light and laughter
    if only once

    Congratulations on 8 years of your husband, may you find many more years and may they be filled with nothing but love and happiness.

  12. In a perfect world
    I would have all of you here
    In my waiting arms

  13. Congratulations
    Eight years of support and love
    Here's to many more

  14. I'm so thankful that I have my husband through this all.

    Carleigh, my baby
    Such a short time that we had
    Moments I treasure