Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hell hath no fury

What a day. What a day. What a day.

I met my cousin Erica this morning. We haven't seen each other in quite some time, maybe a month or so, and it was really great to catch up.

After leaving her, I had to head to a cardiologist appointment. I have been having some major arrhythmia for the past year, and in the last month or so it has really kicked into high gear.

The nurse ran down my chart, updating my files.
"Are you still on the Prenate DHA?" she asked
"Those were my prenatals. I was pregnant last time I was here."
"So you're not still on it?"

She hooked me up for an EKG, tore a print out from the machine, and informed me that the Doctor would be in with me shortly. A magazine boasted a picture of Katherine Heigle and her new adopted baby from China. Even at the cardiologist, babies seem to follow me.

Doctor M. entered the room and ran through my chart. I explained that I don't know which comes first, the anxiety, or the arrhythmia, as they seem to be one vicious cycle.

"Are you exercising?"
"Yes, regularly," I offered, feeling self conscious about my post baby body, "though you wouldn't know it by my size."
"There is nothing wrong with your size," he smiled, "I treated a six hundred pound man earlier today."
I wondered if I should take that as a compliment.

Dr. M checked me over, and showed me on the EKG all the premature beats. He discussed medications.

"I want to put you on a Beta Blocker," he said.
"Is that dangerous for a baby?"
I explained to him what had happened with Peyton, and how I wasn't willing to take anything that could jeopardize a future pregnancy or child. Through it all, Dr. M. never batted an eyelash. I guess mother's telling him about dead babies are not that rare.

He scheduled me for a stress test, as well as some labs to check my cholesterol, thyroid, etc. Have I mentioned I am only 29 years old?

Dressing, I headed out to the desk to be checked out.

Behind the counter sat a very familiar face, and my heart stopped. We had worked together at my last job. Had been sort of buddies, waiting to walk out with each other at night so as to never navigate the parking lot alone. She looked up at me and offered a courteous smile.

"Please move to the next desk and she can help you," she said.
"Hi," I said, "it's me."
No recognition crossed her face.
"We worked together at CompanyX"
"Oh, yeah, right. How are you?"
Still no recognition.

The situation was becoming embarrassing. I made a few small pleasantries and headed for counter two. Her eyes followed me as I moved. She was still trying to figure out who I was.

I have spent the last year wondering how I would handle running into someone from my old job. I was a different person then, perky, happy, upbeat. This interaction ripped me apart. I have changed THAT MUCH. I have changed so much that someone I spent two years working with, someone I, at the time, considered a "work friend", no longer recognized me after a year of grieving.

Feeling like complete crap, I made my stress test appointment, and headed out the door.
After my appointment, I drove to the cemetery for my daily visit with Peyton. It was nearly 4pm at this point, and I felt like it was a race against the sun to get there before it got dark.

Reaching her, I did some housekeeping things, straightening up her plot, and was just beginning to tell her about my day, when a dog came running towards me from the woods. He was alone, unleashed, and coming at me quickly, so I decided to play it safe, and headed for my car.

I have never owned a dog. I like them, but random dogs coming out of the woods towards me is a little beyond my comfort zone. I watched from the safety of my car, as  the dog made his way through the cemetery, lifting his leg to pee on some of the graves near Peyton. A man called after him from the woods,  and my blood began to boil. It was him, the jerk I wrote about here, who was allowing his dogs to use Peyton's grave as a toilet.

Something in me snapped, and before I knew it, I was charging across the hill after him.

"Hey!" I yelled, "Hey! You!"
He was walking with three dogs, only one of which was on a leash. He looked at me startled.
"What do you think this is?"
"Excuse me?" He asked.
I was on a tyrade now. Uncontrollable.
"This place is not here for your personal use! This is no dog park, it is sacred ground!" My voice was growing louder with every word. We were nearly nose to nose. "I don't appreciate you letting your dogs pee on my daughter's grave, do you know how that makes me feel to have to come here and find her grave violated like that? There are trees all around here, take them to walk through the woods to pee, not here! There are leash laws you know!"
"I'm sorry," he offered, "I have this one leashed because I have seen him do it before, I didn't know the other ones would."
It was a lie and he knew it.
"They all have to be leashed! I catch you letting your dogs pee on a grave here again and I am going straight to the cops!"
Startled in reaction at the wild woman screaming at him, the man offered a weak "It won't happen again, I promise."
"Better not!" I screamed. "Hrmph!" And with that I stomped away.

Hell hath no fury...


  1. I'd have punched him. Honestly I would. Sounds like a very long, very hard day. I wish it hadn't started or ended that way for you. Hugs don't seem enough for you. So Can I metaphorically at least punch the dog owner instead? xxxx

  2. Good for you! I am so proud of you for standing your ground! He desearved a good tounge lashing! *Hugs*

  3. Yeah, what a day exactly. It's good that the dr is running tests. Better to be thorough about things IMO. As for the man in the cemetery, I'm glad you put him in his place. That jerk deserved a yelling for letting his dogs use the restroom there. It's disrespectful. And really, does he just go walking through the cemetery for fun? He has to know his dogs are going to go to the bathroom there. What's wrong with the woods he came out of?? I'm sorry you even had to deal with that in the first place.

  4. I was crying for you hearing about your horrible day but I am glad you got it out on that dreadful man. I hope he never forgets you and your daughter.

  5. UGH. I would never allow any dog I walk, mine or not, to pee where they are not supposed to. What is wrong with people?

    Good for you. This dumb-dumb was a perfect outlet. I doubt that he'll pull this trick, again!

  6. Good for you! Maybe that asshat of a man will think twice before he does it again. {{{Hugs}}}

  7. What a release on what was a very stressful day! You go girl!

  8. I am so SO glad that this guy had the nerve to come back so that you could give him a piece of your mind. He ought to know better and hopefully he will think twice before he brings his dogs out anyplace.

  9. What a day, sorry you had a rough one. I think god is cruel sometimes, testing to see how far he can push us before we break...
    I am sooo glad you told that jerkball off. What an insensitive asshole! He's lucky is wan't me, I probably would have literaly taken his head off!!! I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and that you are not tested in so many different ways!!

  10. Good for you!! He deserved it!


  11. What a day... I am so sorry. I am so proud of you that you confronted him about his complete lack of respect.


  12. so sorry you had a rough day, hopefully they will be able to figure out whats going on with you and its easily treatable.

    And GOOD FOR YOU for standing up to that asshat defiling peoples graves. I hope that he learned his lesson. I cant imagine what someone is thinking to do something so freaking disrespectful

  13. wooooahoooo good for you. Some people can be sooo.....such....(insert your favorite word. Glad you told him off and I hope it won't happen again.

  14. i think if anyone comes out of the loss of a child unchanged, it has to be a miracle.. I have had a few people too just act like what I just revealed was everyday news.. oh, your child died, so how about that (whatever topic is) I hate it.. HOWEVER.. I am soooo glad that jack ass was there to get what was coming to him!!and so glad you got to yell at someone!!

  15. Good for you! I'm so glad you got an opportunity to confront that asshat and give him a piece of your mind. Hopefully he is so embarrassed he won't dare bring his dogs back there!

    As for your experience at the dr. office and running into an old "friend", I'm sure that had to be very uncomfortable for you. It's sad what grief can do to a person. I know I am much, much grayer now and have frown lines and what I call worry lines on my forehead.

    I hope you can get the arrhythmia under control. My husband has Atrial Fibrillation and he takes medication (cardizem) to keep it under control. He says it's a very freaky feeling when you can feel your heart beating so erratically. He had panic attacks from it, that's how much it affected him.

    Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day for you.


  16. I am so PROUD of you!!! I was living through you as I read the post just anticipating how it would play out. I'm glad he at least said sorry and that it wouldn't happen again! I half expected him to be an ass to you, but you must have been pretty scary ;) I hope they figure out the heart situation and that you don't have to go on any medications that would hinder a pregnancy in any way.

  17. I am sorry about your heart issues. I hope that it can all be fixed. Also sorry about the lady who didn't know who you were. (she had to know & that bothers me) I am so proud of you. I think that getting out of your car and getting in his face was awesome. I wouldn't want dogs peeing on my grave. I think that maybe he really learned a big lesson today. Sometimes people just don't think about how they would feel if it happened to their loved ones grave. Hugs to you. I pray for your comfort.

  18. Good for you! I'm so glad you gave that man a telling off and got some anger out.

  19. Kristin I'm sure without a doubt that the way we feel affects our personal appearence. But I'm also sure that your previous coworker was being rude and that she probably knew exactly who you were. Perhaps she also was having a bad day and didn't feel like talking to anyone. As for the jerk at the cemetery, make sure you take your cell phone with you just in case it happens again. Be careful confronting strange men with three dogs alone. While I definitely applaud you for standing up to that jerkface, please make sure you are safe. Sending you hugs and hope for a better tomorrow.

  20. Oh honey.

    My heart crashes and burns for you.

    Have you gone to grief counseling? I just got "sprung" from it after being in it for like 2 years.

    It is well worth it...

    I was YOU. I understand. Even down to the health stuff.

    Hugs, Always a Mama. You will find your way out of the darkness. I swear.

  21. Sending you lots of hugs! I am glad that you stood up to that man! He needs to know what he is doing is not ok! I hope your heart arrhythmia is fixed quickly and if it is in the cards, I pray it is, Peyton will be a big sister soon.

  22. I am so proud of you. It takes so much courage to stand up for yourself when you are already so weak inside.

    When we have been rudely awakened by life, there is something inside that wants to shake everyone awake too. We want them to WAKE UP to what is happening all around them. It's too painful to let them sleep.

    Love you.
    Thinking of you every day.

  23. I'm so sorry you had such a horrible chain of events at what I'm sure was an already stressful cardio appointment (which seems paradoxical, but I can only imagine the vicious cycle like you said...). (((Hugs))) I'm glad you challenged that lout and confronted him about his lack of respect. Some people need to be pulled on the carpet. Here's hoping he'll think twice before he lets them run loose in the cemetery again. Hope your day tomorrow is gentler to you. xo

  24. I'm so sorry about all the medical issues. I know how frustrating and scary it is to be faced with medical stuff at such a young age. On top of everything else you've been through, this is not what you need. I am SO happy that you stood up for yourself, Peyton and all the other families and loved ones buried at the cemetery. That man has no decency or understanding. Who in their right mind would walk dogs around a cemetery and let them run wild. Rediculous. I hope he got the hint and stays away. I hope you have more peaceful days ahead. *hugs*

  25. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your daughter is beautiful and sweet.

    I am sickened by the idea that someone allowed his dogs to relieve themselves in a cemetary. I really feel so awful that on top of all your grief, you had to deal with this guy. Im happy that you got the chance to tell him exactly what was on your mind, but i am sad that you actually had to do it. Make sense?

    I had a similar issue with the extra beats, but couldnt take meds. Fortunately they went away on their own.

    Please hang in there. I know Im a complete stranger but my thoughts are with you.

    New York

  26. I'm glad you finally got to tell him off. I think he will not walk his dogs there again.

  27. I'm glad you told that man with his dogs off. It's absolutely disgusting.

    I'm sorry you're having heart issues. I hope your stress test goes OK. I'll be thinking of you.

  28. I'm so sorry for your encounter with your ex-colleague. That must have been disconcerting, not to be recognised.

    I hope that the doctors can do something to help your arrhythmia.

    And I am so, so glad that you had it out with the man walking his dogs in the cemetery. He has been troubling me ever since you first wrote about him. Good for you, he had it coming to him. I can't believe that anyone would be so disrespectful. I'm sure he won't do it again. xo

  29. I just want to say something about the arrhythmia - my mom developed arrhythmia after my dad's murder. I believe it is literally a physical manifestation of a broken heart.