Tuesday, November 17, 2009

No Respect

To the man who has twice in the last week allowed his dogs to roam free and treat the cemetery like their personal bathroom... what is wrong with you? Where is your respect? Can't you see the love and care that people have put into these grave sites? Don't you feel the holiness of this ground?

I yelled at your dog. I called after you. You coward, you kept walking in the distance. You pretended that you didn't even hear me.

This isn't a dog park. It's not open space for your personal use. It deserves to be honored for what it is.

This is where you will find the woman whose husband brings flowers after mass every week. Did you know about her, before you let your dog ruin this week's bouquet? It is where the young mother, barely thirty, tragically lays. And home to infant triplets, to veterans, to a female Marine from WWII. This is a sacred place to come and just be, and most importantly to me, it is my daughter's home.

I know you saw me sitting there before you let your dogs loose. I know you saw me talking to her, and even that, the image of a grieving mother over her child's grave wasn't enough to instill understanding in your heart.

Can't you see that your actions have violated the only place in this world, where I can sit near my child? A place whose space allows me to feel her close. Nature that has inspired my thoughts. Ground that has absorbed my countless tears.

Do you even care about the pain that your carelessness has caused me?

27 comments:

  1. I can not believe that someone would do something to idiotic and vulgar. I dislike hearing this and I hope that he realizes that someday it will be his grave or someone close to him that will get the same treatment if not worse. I dont wish this on him, but I think that Karma is a you know what!!!

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  2. That is dreadful and so disrespectful. I am so sorry.

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  3. This was just so selfish of that man. I don't understand some people.

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  4. Kristin your post made me cry. I just experienced disrespect at my son's grave this past week. I had brought Calvin a bouquet of flowers for his birthday and when I went back yesterday for his angel day, they were gone. I guess someone thought it was okay to take the flowers from my son's grave for their own pleasure. Maybe if they had stopped to think for a minute that those stupid flowers are about the only thing I can buy for him, they would have left them alone. People are so ignorant in their disrespect, write a letter to your local paper, call the news, call the city by-law department because letting a dog use a cemetery as a toilet is beyond acceptable. It's an outrage. Hugging you....

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  5. Shame on this horrid man. I couldn't believe what I was reading here. I'm so very sorry that this ignorant man has the audacity to do such a thing at your sweet pea's cemetery. I'll pray that you never see him again.. or better yet- that he realizes his wrong-doing after pretending to not hear you.

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  6. What an ass. I am so sorry he is doing this to your daughter's space. xx

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  7. That is a horrible encounter, Kristin. I'm sorry his disrespect and lack of any feeling at all infringed on your time with Peyton. There must be on-leash bylaws there???? Call and report him. Sending you love.

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  8. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. How terribly disrespectful and inhumane that mans actions were. Unbelievable!

    It's a shame that people do not respect the most sacred of places.

    We've not had any issues of that caliber. The worst that has happened to date is a missing pinwheel. It was only a dollar but from the day I put it up that pinwheel was always spinning like mad when I arrived at the cemetery. I know it's silly but it made me feel as if Jayden was acknowledging my presence. I replaced it...this one NEVER spins. Breaks my heart every time I see it just sitting there.

    Hugs to you, I'm so sorry you had to endure such a terrible situation.

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  9. I wishe he could read your blog and our comments...but people like him would not bother.

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  10. Shame on him. Even more shame on him that he wouldn't face you. Honestly, I am astounded.
    I'm so very sorry. People like him just shouldn't be allowed within a million miles of these precious places.

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  11. Jackass. So disrespectful. I am just so sorry for his ignorance.

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  12. How disrespectful. How cowardly of him to walk away. So sorry that this happened.

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  13. Oh I'm so sorry he did that. We had a similar experience at our cemetery too. A dog ran off with a toy I'd left for Florence. I searched the whole cemetery until I found it. My 13 year old daughter was inconsolable. I could not believe anyone would let a dog loose in the cemetery, but it's happened a couple of times since then too.
    Some people have no sense and no respect.

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  14. Disrespect in the cemetery is so hard. We have had flowers stolen off Henry's grave on more than one occasion. Plus, because he is so close to the road, people often drive over his grave or park right on it. HIs stone is not in yet. We're hoping that will help a little with the latter, but I suspect flowers will continue to disappear. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

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  15. I am so sorry. How disrepectful of him. I second Margaret - your post was so eloquent. Perhaps you could go "public" in some way about it.

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  16. Kristin..I am at a loss for words..what is wrong with people?? I just can't even imagine having that thought..and I am so sorry he pretended not not to hear you..maybe it was enough to make him feel shame and never come back..

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  17. This pisses me off for you!!! I never would have dreamed of that happening. I would have been yelling to that guy, too! It's hard to believe the ignorance & disrespect some people show at a cemetery. I had a balloon (the kind on a stick) out for Mackenzie and it disappeared. When looking around I saw it in someone elses vase. I knew it was mine because I had wrapped an address label around it to hold the balloon to the stick. I took it right back but still - who does that??? I'm sorry for your experience and I hope it never happens again!!
    ((hugs))
    Ashley

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  18. sara/emerging butterflyNovember 18, 2009 at 1:00 PM

    People are careless...they lack empathy for that which they do not understand, or have not experienced. They do not know what they do.

    Our babies ashes are spread in the gully near our home on a perfect mother rock. We've placed flowers there...and go every single day to just BE. Every time I am there, I notice that other people who walk through this wonderful field throw their trash on my sacred ground. It is a wilderness area...and they throw their trash. They break beer bottles in the field near the rock that my babies remains are resting near. I clean it every day. I remove shards of glass. wrappers. plastic bottles. I can't understand it. I know they don't KNOW my babies are there....but...it's a nature spot. a beautiful glade. and they shit on it. Yesterday...I found that someone had wiped their dog poopy shoe on my babies rock.

    and I cried.

    Because they are gone. Because their ashes aren't them...and because no one knows they are there. and because....even if they knew....it wouldn't matter to them...

    because they do not understand.

    Sweet mama....I am SO very sorry your precious hallowed space has been invaded by carelessness... by the ugly parts of the insensitive world that is blind to the sacredness that is a resting place for your beautiful little girl that you miss so very very much. It is just awful...and I wish those that are careless could understand. But...they just don't. My father taught me to drive when I was 10 in a graveyard. We had picnics in graveyards all over California. quiet and beautiful...we played hide and seek there. I didn't know any better. My father felt it was a way to teach us about the normality of death...but....it was a little off color I must say.

    Sending so much warmth your way.... I'm sorry for the negligence others are hurting you with.

    Mostly...I'm sorry that your daughter is not with you...because you are such a wonderful mother. XXXX

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  19. I am so sorry! People are so ignorant and dumb. ((hugs))

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  20. My gawd, I am disgusted. I cannot believe the nerve of some people. Not only for you, but for others. A cemetery is the ONLY place we have to "see" our child(ren). We can't buy them toys, books or clothes. We can only buy them flowers or trinkets to adorn their headstone. Its the only way we can honour them now. I felt the same as you back in the spring. We had gone to visit E (this was before we lost L) and noticed his lantern and angel ornament were gone. The grounds crew took it from E's grave and thre it in the dumpsters in the back. I was devastated and angry. Some people can't see beyond themselves and realize that their actions hurt others. I'm sorry you were witness to that, and I hope this man starts to respect those that are buried there and their families left behind.

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  21. Wow. Talk about disrespectful.

    This time of year I make my annual trek to a LOT of cemetaries. I've had so much loss recently...
    I am so engrossed in my prayers for loved ones I usually don't even notice my surroundings.

    Hugs and thank you for putting that out there. No only because, you are grieving and letting us into your life,

    but because people need to be mindful of what they do at a cemetary and who is grieving.

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  22. That is just..... aweful. I would be so, SO enraged too! I like the idea of writing a letter to your local paper. Bringing awareness to your whole community is a sure way to inflict shame on that @$$hole.

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  23. You have got to be kidding me!!! This man is dispicable and obviously has no shame. This makes me angry that someone would let their dog roam and do that in a cemetery and not care. Can you report him?

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  24. Aw, I am so sorry! Can you go to a city meeting? I know our city has them once a week. People go there to complain about things in the city. Maybe you can complain there? Even sound off with your newspaper or local station. Our city has a phone number to call and complain. There needs to be rules in cemeteries. Again, I am so sorry this idiot did this.

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  25. I am disgusted and so angry with you. I am so sorry. I am with Holly report him!

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  26. That is so awful! Some people just have no respect! Seriously rude!

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  27. I just felt sick to my stomach. That is horrible. How could he. How could he be so horrible of a human being??? I am so sorry. Have you contacted the cemetery and let them know? Perhaps they can post signs and keep an eye to have the jerk (and others like him) arrested or fined.

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