Thursday, November 19, 2009

My 1st Blog Giveaway, PTSD, & Mels Show & Tell

I was going to save my first blog giveaway to mark my 100th post, I am somewhere around 85, but  then I found something so precious and timely that I just couldn't keep it to myself. More on that to come later on in this post. Today's Show & Tell is sort of a mish-mosh of things from this past week, bear with me...

First, I really wanted to share these two photographs, sent  to me from Holly, Carleigh's Momma. Holly was spending the day at a beautiful park, and decided to bring our little Peyton, and many of the other babies from this community, along with her. She wrote them each, name by name, remembering and honoring these children among the beauty that nature was surrounding her in. I have seen so many of these pictures on various blogs this week, all gifts from Holly, which really speaks to her caring and kind nature.

Last weekend my hubs had to work the better part of the day on Saturday, so, in his absence I headed over to a local craft fair. It's a small one, just a few tables in a Knight's of Columbus Hall, but one I have attended each year since we moved here and so I was looking forward to it. I scanned the tables one by one to see if anything spoke to me. My heart just about fell out of my chest when I came to a table of perfectly knitted baby clothes. They were beautiful, and sweet, the likes of which I had spent many months dreaming of dressing Peyton in, and I felt myself get hot and the room spin at the sight of them. IT's funny that way, and by IT I mean PTSD, because I can be in one place where there are baby items, and sort of tune them out, and then be in another, like this craft fair, and feel my chest tightening and my breath becoming labored as the memories flood my mind, and before I know it the room is crashing down around me. I don't know why IT is this way. IT just is.

In my efforts to get away from the adorable sets of booties, pom hats, and the socks that were knitted to look like shoes, I practically tripped over a woman pushing a stroller. Yes, that's the way IT goes sometimes. Do any of you go through this? Do you ever feel like the reminders of what you don't have chase you around in public? Anyway, I hurried to the other end of the room, making my way for the door when I saw her... pink and perfect, swaddled in a blanket that said "Bless This Baby," with a halo above her head, and a set of gold wings off her back. She caught my eye and I couldn't help but reach out to grab her.

"Isn't she precious?" A woman next to me said. "You know I have a friend whose baby just died. Can you believe that still happens? I thought this would be perfect for her."
"Yes, I can." I nodded. "I just lost my daughter. It is perfect."
My response caught her off guard, leaving me in one of those awkward "I just shared too much with a stranger" moments. Not knowing how to respond, the woman offered a sympathetic "oh" and left, but I stayed, looking at her, turning her over and over in my fingers. Hubs and I have talked about setting up a little Peyton Tree each Christmas, and finding an ornament to honor her life each year.  Without a doubt, in this little angel, I had found our 2009 ornament.

This is where my first blog giveaway comes in... FINALLY... I know...

I purchased a second little angel ornament, red, so it could be used to remember a girl or a boy. Here are some pictures. I am sorry they are not clearer, I have been using the cellphone camera and it is not very good.

The note pinned to blanket reads "Bless this Baby"

Okay, so this picture is just awful.
Believe me when I tell you the gold wings are just adorable.
The blurry bit on the bottom is a tag that reads "2009"

If you would like to be entered in this giveaway, please include your angel's name along with your comment to this post. A winner will be chosen using's random number generator and will be announced sometime Friday evening. This giveaway closes Friday at 5:00PM EST

To see what others are showing and telling, visit here.


  1. I ran across your blog the other day, and I don't even remember how now. This is our first Holiday season since our little girl passed away at 20 weeks and it's really taking a toll on me. My heart is breaking all over again. In my mind all I can think is she should have been here with us. She should be enojoying her first holiday season with us. I meant to respond to your post but this just poured out instead. I guess because you know what it's like to feel this way. However I wanted you to know I do what what IT feels like. I still experience it out of nowhere. I too can be doing fine and then the next I'm darting out...wishing the pregnant women and babies would just stop following me. Anyway I think the angle ornament is adorable. How amazing that you ran across something so perfect.

    Our angel baby is name Bryanna. She was born on February 10, 2009 and lived for just short of 2 precious hours.


  2. Those ornaments are beautiful. I would love to be entered...Everett and Leyland are my angels.

    I'm a little taken aback by the womans comment. While it seemed sincere at first, the comment of "can you believe that still happens" is what make me cringe. Like you, yes I can believe it still happens, its happened to me twice. :(


  3. aww, the ornament is perfect. My good friend has an angel that I would honor if picked. Her name is Eva.

  4. These are just so precious! And yes, I do feel like the things that I want to forget chase me around some days. It makes my heart pound and the tears are never far behind the panick. Id love to be entered in your giveaway, my angels name is Bryston. HUGS!

  5. Yeah I do feel like baby stuff just haunts me sometimes. Sometimes I'm just like "really?!????" As if it's not enough that we lost our babies but now the universe is rubbing it in our faces...

    Oh I just LOVE that ornament!! I wonder how hard it would be to make them? I might give it a try. In any case, I'd love to be in the drawing :) My baby is Mackenzie <3


  6. These are just precious and I too have been on a hunt for an ornament for Kasey, this will be his 2nd Christmas in heaven. The 1st was too soon, too raw, too much for me to grasp (he grew his wings on Dec 19, I day before he was supposed to be born). I buried myself and wished Christmas would never come and leave along with all the cards with peoples babies on them, and everyone's joy and happiness. Unfortunately lady at the craft fair it does happen WAY TOO often. (Sorry about the rant)

    My angel is Kasey

  7. How perfect. I love what Holly did--so precious. And the ornament--how beautiful.

  8. Red is Henry's color. I have a tree for him too, covered in hearts and cardinals.

  9. Beautiful memorials for Peyton! I love the leaf with her name on it.

    I think the ornaments are so sweet and definitely something to help those who have lost their little ones remember them. You have such a beautiful heart, Kristen! I love the fact that, even in your own pain, you can think of others who are suffering too. You make me strive to be a better person.

  10. I often find that I stumble across reminders all the time, no matter where I am. I am hoping that I will come to terms with those reminders in time.

    Love the angels from the craft fair. How perfect!

    mom to twins in heaven, Emma and Chase

  11. It does feel like reminders chase me too. It makes me so sad. This angel is so perfect. Today I was out looking for our 2009 ornament for our Jenna. I would love to be entered in this contest. =)

    My angel is Jenna Belle.


  12. Wow. I remember when I lost my girls, 28 years ago. It's like just yesterday, believe it.

    I went out and got a doll. Not two. One. I named them Dominique and Isabella.

    I was never allowed to hold them so the doll was my comfort in a storm of emotions. You done good, Always a Momma.

    I REFUSE to call you Once a Momma. You are always a Mommy hun. Always and Always.

    Hugs... thank you for sharing.

  13. You are so kind. If you could see my face I am *blushing*. It was an honor to write Peyton's name.

    It does seem once you see one baby trigger there are a thousand more behind it. I love the ornament!!! It is so nice and very unique. I wonder if the lady has a shop somewhere? Do you know if there is a way to get in contact with her?

    My little angel is Carleigh McKenna.

  14. I read this and almost started to cry. I would love to be entered into your giveaway. In 2008 we lost Morgan and she has a ton of ornaments, but we haven't found the right one for Blumpy yet, who was lost a little over a month ago.
    I think the one you found is so beautiful.

  15. So precious! I am so glad you found your 2009 ornament for Peyton.

    I would love one for our tree also.

    Angel Baby Nicholas.


  16. The angel ornament is so precious, Kristin. What a find. Thank you for sharing it with us - even a blurry photo does it some justice and it's better with a picture. :)

    My angel is George Patrick Andrew and I would love to be entered in the draw.

    Odd encounter with that woman - I'm surprised she wasn't more sympathetic (but maybe she was shocked and didn't know what to say). I just had that kind of encounter at the bread store when the clerk saw the BC Care Cards lined up in my wallet and said, "Oh! How many children?" I burst into tears and said I have five but one died six months ago today. She said, "Oh, hon. I'm so sorry." And promptly leaned right over the counter and gave me a hug. I wish you'd gotten that reaction, too. (((Hugs))) from me.

  17. Kristin, I think your idea of a Peyton tree is perfect. I have bought Lorelei an ornament every year since she was born and plan to give them to her when she moves away from home. Last year, I started with Georgia and Calvin. I'm not sure what I'll do with Calvin's ornaments, I may keep them for myself or give them to Georgia when she gets married. That said, I have found my girl's ornaments this year but have yet to find Calvins. I would be honoured if you would add me to your giveaway. I also have a box of things I am putting together for Peyton's Pals. It's funny how I assumed my twins would be preemies so I bought all this preemie stuff that they never used being big babies. Hope to get it out to you soon, I love what you're doing. Hugging you

  18. Holly is amazing, she done me pictures of my boys names too.
    I know exactly what you mean about things following you around. Some days i feel fine and then one thing happens and then they dont stop just one after another.
    I would love to be entered into this give away. I have also decided to get a christmas tree just for my boys and add an ornament each year. I have been looking everywhere for ornaments for them for their first christmas but i havent been able to find anything yet. These look perfect.
    My angels names are Eli and Jett.

  19. That is a beautiful ornament and it is just perfect.

  20. What a sweet story. I'd like to enter, but not for myself. My little Angel has plenty of decorations. I'd like to enter in my friend's name. Her Angel is Adam Michael.

  21. I love the angel baby ornaments. How precious!

  22. I know exactly what you mean. I myself ran our of a craft bazaar a few weeks ago. The first 4 people I saw had known what had happened and came up to talk to me...I got the "It was God's will"...."you will have another one..." and so on, by all 4 of them. Amazingly I made it through that and proceeded on to look at the craft show. Talking about Elliot to people I barely knew didn't send me running out the door, and I thanked God he let me be strong enough for was the hand knitted booties and blankets I saw at a table about halfway through the bazaar. And as I was literally running out the door crying I could feel everyones eyes on me and it seemed like all of the babies were taunting in slow motion me as I fled!!
    I hope it will get better for the both of us!

    My angels name is Elliot.

  23. Beautiful memorials for Peyton! Your idea for a Peyton tree is wonderful!!

  24. That angel is too sweet and your idea of a Peyton tree each year is such a wonderful way to honor your sweet girl.

    I'd love to hang an angel on my tree this year for my grandson, Jayden Christopher.

    *crosses fingers*

  25. Holly did some photos for my son, too...amazing! What would have been his 5th birthday is this sunday...and yes, IT does come unexpected. IT does ruin your day, and IT does get worse on or around significant dates. All I can ever do is take a deep breath and try (although sometimes unsuccessfully) to keep my cool. That's the trick; just breathe.

    My Angel's name is Trevor :-)

  26. What a beautiful gift. I love these little angels.

  27. For Simon and Alexander...I'll enter for the angel baby.

    Yesterday marked conceiving them...I was remembering fondly the love and passion that made them--we were watching the Office...with an Earth week theme. My throat closed as I remembered that we lost our baby on Earth day and choked back tears so everyone laughing at Recyclops wouldn't know my head was spinning. Yes...IT is always like that.

  28. For Akul - my beautiful angel baby.

    I hope and pray that God blesses all our little angel babies every day.

  29. The ornament is absolutely gorgeous, what a lovely way to remember Peyton at Christmas. ((hugs))