Monday, November 9, 2009

Angry

I'm Angry...
At God
At fate
At odds
At cancer
At loss
At grieving
At secondary infertility
At myself
At decisions
At not being able to save her
At having to live in a babylost world
At her doctors
At the limits of medicine
At the lack of answers
At Leukemia
At her blood for betraying her
At the lost dreams
At the way my heart can't let go
At the pain
At the sadness
At the relentless questioning
At what this has done to me
At what this has done to my husband
At feeling misunderstood
At isolation from others
At isolating myself
At fears
At memories
At the constant reminders
At all of it
I'm Angry.

9 comments:

  1. I'm angry at all this for you.

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have so many of reasons to be angry.
    I have had some periods of anger, but mostly I don't have the energy for it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am angry for and with you.. I wish there was something to do or say to make you better..we both know there is not though..sending hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I feel almost every feeling you have written. I am in a terrible state of mind right now. I want to run away, begin over again, somewhere new, somewhere I don't know anyone and no one knows me and I am not "Bobbie the lady who lost her baby to leukemia......."

    Hang in there. If it helps at all just knowing I feel so many of your same feelings. I just keep hoping, praying for a better day.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Reading this,I think there is no wonder you are angry. I'm angry for you. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Me too honey. More than anything.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm angry for you, and with you. xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. You have earned this right. I am hoping that as time goes on the anger subsides for both of us.

    ReplyDelete