Monday, November 16, 2009


The sun rises,
cars pass,
bikes move,
people mill around,
shops open and close,
x's mark dates on the calendar,
the world continues turning,
but not for me child, I stand still.
I am in limbo,
walking the line between what was,
and what is.
Between a life imagined,
and that which was realized.
Between youth,
and age.
Between naive happiness,
and the pain of wisdom.
I try to understand.
I try to find answers.
It is a fruitless pursuit.
There are none.
Some call you an angel,
a tragedy,
a spirit,
a terrible thing that happened,
a victim of odds,
in a better place.
They have so many labels for a life cut so short.
I just call you daughter.

~Kristin Binder


  1. So beautiful! I love every word of this. Thank you for sharing it.

  2. oh Kristin, I think this is my favorite one of your poems so far! It is just everything that Im feeling wrapped up in your touching words. HUGS!

  3. Your poem gave me the chills. I know it makes no difference but I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby too but he died in the womb. It's not the same.

  4. I feel very much the same way. Sometimes I just sit back and observe, taking in all the things that are happening around me. Watching time pass, and feeling so disconnected from it all...

  5. I wish I had more today but I don't. Just sending you hugs and love.

  6. this was incredibly moving. Thank you so much for sharing it.

    I stumbled upon your blog from another angel mommy. I am so incredibly sorry we had to meet on such similar terms.

    Many peaceful *hugs*

  7. This is so good. Time passes and the world moves and sometimes you feel in limbo.

  8. Right on...Beautiful and so very true. Too many labels, but the memory that you hold of your daughter is more than any label.

    Thinking of you.

  9. I feel every word....wanting to scream at everyone who passes by, wanting them to KNOW and understand my pain. But, they can't, so I just keep walking....observing...hurting.

    I hope it is okay if I borrow this?? I will definitely give you credit for it. It just sums up everything I've been feeling recently.

    Walking with you...

  10. Same feeling... Even I have those still moments. I know the world around me is in constant motion, but for me, i feel it very still. Thanks for sharing, and letting me know that all these happen to everyone who has lost a child.

  11. There shouldn't be any labels other then child, son or daughter. Peyton wasn't a tragedy, a terrible thing that happens, or in a better place. She was a perfect baby girl, who should be in your arms. *hugs*

  12. This poem was very beautiful. For the last 15 minutes I have been reading your beautiful comments and your angry ones (the dogs at the cemetery). I like your writing style, you are very honest and transparent. I have come here visiting from Lynette Krafts's Blog.

    I too have lost a son, Tim was not a baby, but he did suffer from a childhood illness his whole life. He died two and half years ago at age 26. It still seems so recent. I write as well to deal with my grief. Like Lynette, God's Holy Spirit has brought me great comfort in amazing very personal ways, reassuring me that Tim is doing the best he has ever been...In fact he is perfect now. Knowing all the pain and suffering he went through, that has to bring me joy. He lived life to the fullest despite his disease and when he could no longer do the things he only 26 years young, God saw the only way to answer our prayers of healing was by taking Him home. We serve a sovereign God, and He knows what is best. I continue to write, to bring God glory and myself an outlet. I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Peyton. May you also be blessed in and through your grief as you move forward and I pray that God will give you another baby to love soon. Coleene VanTilburg, follow my blog at, :Considerable Thoughts."