Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Gramma & Pop Pop Pay a Visit - Mel's Show & Tell

My parents have been coming to see me, and visit Peyton's grave, pretty much every week since her passing. At first it was a necessity thing. They would come and get me out of the house, because I wouldn't do it myself. Those early visits usually involved long car rides where we would see something, and nothing, all at once. Under the guise of taking "day trips" they would listen as I cried about how sad I was, the guilt I felt, and how I had lost my sense of worth. They offered unwaivering love and compassion, and most importantly, an ear to listen.

I know how hard it was to be me in those earliest months, I can only imagine how difficult it was to voluntarily be around me. It hit me one day, at around six or seven months out, that my parents were grieving more than just the sweet little grandchild they had lost, but also their own daughter who had lost herself. Through the tears, and the pain, and the angry outbursts, my parents remained steadfast, returning to my side week after week. They would spend the day with me, and the evenings with me and hubs once he came home from work. I can't honestly say that I would have made it through without their support.

When my parents visit now, it is more to visit than to grieve. We have fallen into this wonderfully comfortable pattern of spending every Thursday together to talk, visit, and go to see Peyton's grave. I can't lie and say there are never tears, but for the most part, we have a nice day together. Even when I can't bear the idea of seeing anyone because I am feeling so low, a visit from my parents can make me feel better.

 Last Thursday, I had to go in for a stress test at the cardiologist, and had to cancel our day together. To my surprise, my folks still made the hour long drive from their town to ours, to go see their little Peyton's grave, and deck it out for the holidays.

Today, for show and tell, I am sharing the pictures that they took, of their visit with Peyton, and the beautiful grave blanket they made for her.





A view at the head of the blanket.
I love this little Angel ornament. It seems so fitting.



Here is the view from standing back.
 I love the way the grave blanket spans the distance between where Peyton is buried (beneath the garden) to the base of her plot where her stone is.



Here is a picture of my mother, Peyton's "Gramma", showing off her handiwork. Last year my parents bought Peyton a grave blanket from a local florist, this year they made this one by hand, choosing each piece that went into decorating it.



The wreath, which I had hung the day before their visit, was also a gift from my mother, which she gave me last year to use on Peyton's grave this Christmas.



I love these butterflies. My father put these on, since butterflies have always been associated with Peyton.



Peyton Elizabeth



Here is a picture of my Father, Peyton's "Pop Pop" paying her a visit.

I am so grateful for these shots, because just a few days later, the entire hill is buried under eight inches of snow. It brings me comfort knowing my little one is warm beneath this blanket.


To see what others are showing and telling, visit here.

28 comments:

  1. What amazing parents you have.

    I have noticed that often, in loss, we don't just grieve for ourselves, but for the other loved ones in our lives who have lost, as well.

    Thinking of you, your family, and your beautiful baby girl in this season.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is so sweet of your folks to visit her site even without you. The grave decorations and blanket are beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  3. it's beautiful! I'm glad it was able to bring you comfort. I also associate butterflies with my daughter Bryanna. A few days after what would have been her due date we started seeing a beautiful Monarch butterfly and for months after that we would see the butterfly almost everywhere we went. It was very comforting. It breaks my heart now that the butterflies are no longer around. I look forward to next year!

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's simply beautiful. And I am glad you have such loving parents. Just like Peyton does xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am crying-you are so right. Our parents are not only greiving their grandchild(ren), but the loss of us in a way too. My mom has said how difficult it is to see her child suffer...
    Seeing your parents at Peyton's grave, and all they did to make it beautiful for Christmas both warms and breaks my heart at once. You are so lucky they are willing and available to give you so much support, I know you know that already.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is just beautiful. I read your profile (came from Mel) and I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter. Peyton is clearly well-loved and sadly missed by everyone around her. I'm so glad that your parents were still able to visit her grave.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love the tradition you & your parents have created. I love how much they love her & you. Her blanket is beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  8. No wonder you are such a loving and devoted mother sweet friend...you have had wonderful examples in your life of what parents do...of who they are. It makes me cry to see that kind of love and support...and I'm so grateful you have the kind of parents that love their little girl with the strength and power that you love yours with. It is overwhelming. I parent in response to the way I was parented...everything I do is the opposite of what I was given...my parents are my barometer of what NOT to be. Your parents....they are real parents....real grandparents....

    it is beautiful. absolutely beautiful. XXXX

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your parents are wonderful. I love the blanket, it's beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sitting here in tears. You have amazing parents and now I truly understand how you became the amazing woman you are. That grave blanket is beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  11. How wonderful for you to have the support of two loving parents Kristin. I have never heard of a grave blanket before but from what I gather from looking at your pictures, it is a lovely idea. I wonder if our cemetery would allow something like that. In any case, it's beautiful and a testiment of your parents love for you and Peyton. I wish I had that kind of support...Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  12. What wonderful loving parents you have. Peyton is a very lucky baby to have such great parents and grandparents still mothering her and loving her.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have never heard of such a thing as a grave blanket. What a beautiful thing indeed and what a wonderful way to honour your baby girl. She is warm indeed under that blanket of pure love.

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. I would only wish I had parents like you have. What a wonderful blanket and ornaments. I love the wreath--so bright! What love you all bring to her.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I too had never heard of a grave blanket before. What a beautiful idea!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Beautiful pictures. My MIL puts a grave cover on my BILs grave every year. It is so sweet.

    I know what you mean about parents grieving not only their grandchildren but their children in pain also. My FIL told my MIL that losing a child was the worst thing he had ever gone through- until he watched his son grieve a child.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Such amazing support! The blanket is beautiful! So glad it was there for Peyton and your parents are there for you!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Your parents are amazing. I love what they have done for Peyton and for you. I have never seen such a blanket!

    ReplyDelete
  19. That blanket is beautiful. Peyton has such loving grandparents. What exquisite love.

    ReplyDelete
  20. What wonderful parents you have! My parents never ask me how I am doing. I feel like they have moved on...meanwhile in the early days I could barely function. What a beautiful Christmas blanket Peyton has! I didnt know there was such!

    Nicolle

    ReplyDelete
  21. Gramma and Pop-Pop Roberts are the best. What a beautiful, heartwarming blanket!

    ReplyDelete
  22. What a beautiful story. I am in tears here. Your parents are amazing. I'm so happy that your weekly ritual has brought you back to life.

    ReplyDelete
  23. How beautiful. What lovely grandparents Peyton has. xo

    ReplyDelete
  24. Your parents did a beautiful job on the grave blanket. Very pretty. I may try my hand at making one.

    As a grandparent myself, I can empathize with your parents. I'm so thankful the cemetery where my grandson is buried is less than a 5 minute drive from my home. It's been a year now and I have not found the need to visit diminish at all.

    I'm so glad for that you have their loving support and I"m sure they're so glad they are about to be there for you during this trying time.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm here from Show and Tell and it's my first time visiting you. Thank you for sharing your grief and your story.

    I think you have incredible parents. :) They have empathy, so much love for you and lots of talent for blankets !

    I'm looking forward to visiting you again.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Beautiful, just beautiful. And so lovely that they went to visit without you, that their bond to Peyton doesn't rely on your presence.

    ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just gorgeous. I know exactly what you mean about the effort to exist after she died, and the overwhelming effort it took others to keep you going. That is family. The exact definition.

    I'm so glad you got the cemetary opportunity before the snow. We missed it and now they have shut down the paths until the spring. It is a real regret I have in the busy season.

    ReplyDelete
  28. This is so wonderful and amazing! The grave blanket is beautiful and I'm so glad you've got such a wonderful support system.

    ReplyDelete