Monday, December 28, 2009

Devastated...

There are no other words. Just devastated.
Both tubes are shot. Both f*cking tubes! The best they could offer me for answers was that "there is no justice in this world," and that it's "most likely from an infection after the c-section." The c-section I had to bring a child condemned to death into this world. I carried a child with cancer and no one caught that. I have seen an OB/GYN monthly since, and no one caught this infection.
Angry.
Hopeless.
Devastated.
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51 comments:

  1. TinaDecember 28, 2009 at 2:03 PM

    Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this! What can they do to fix it??? xx

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  2. Debby@Just BreatheDecember 28, 2009 at 2:08 PM

    You poor girl, I am so sorry. ((HUGS)) I understand your anger, hopelessness and devastation. What can I do to help you, what is the next step for hope? How can I pray?

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  3. JustAnotherJennyDecember 28, 2009 at 2:10 PM

    Oh, honey. I'm hugging you.

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  4. JenniferDecember 28, 2009 at 2:29 PM

    Oh...... I am beyond words sorry. So, so sorry.

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  5. KristinDecember 28, 2009 at 2:33 PM

    Oh hon, that just isn't fucking fair. Damn it. This really pisses me off at the universe. {{{Hugs}}}

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  6. BarbaraDecember 28, 2009 at 2:42 PM

    Oh sweetie.
    I am so so so sorry.
    Oh shit this is so unfair. So bloody unfair.

    xxx

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  7. Isla's MommyDecember 28, 2009 at 2:56 PM

    I'm devastated for you. This world is so tragically unfair. I know words are of little comfort, but I'm thinking about you. xoxo

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  8. JenDecember 28, 2009 at 3:02 PM

    No justice in this world..how incredibly enlightening..thank you captain obvious.. ugh.. I am so sorry there are no words to offer comfort right now.. its so hard when all you want is a healthy baby. one to keep..it does not seem like that is such a big thing to ask for,right? I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain..big hugs Kristin..

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  9. Half of a Duo, Raising a DuoDecember 28, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    Honey get a 2nd opinion at a teaching hospital.

    Don't settle for the BS they are spewing.

    That is ONE RE's opinion.

    Miracles happen and you KNOW it.

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  10. margaretDecember 28, 2009 at 3:23 PM

    Oh Kristin, I am so sorry...How devastating indeed. It sounds like you will have to go the IVF route, something we too are considering since I had my tubes tied. I also got a devastating infection after my c-section, a bad e.coli infection that took six weeks of antibiotics to clear up. I wonder if my tubes would have been damaged also had I not already tied them. I'm so sorry sweet lady, I know this is a huge blow. I also know this is something you will find a way to overcome, you are not meant to be without a child. Sending you my love...

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  11. Aunt BeckyDecember 28, 2009 at 3:29 PM

    Oh no. I'm so, so very sorry. Holding you very close.

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  12. Erika PDecember 28, 2009 at 3:31 PM

    Delurking to say I'm so very sorry. There are no words, really...but I couldn't read this one and not say something. I'm here, I'm thinking of you, and I'm so sorry.

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  13. PoppyDecember 28, 2009 at 3:38 PM

    Oh sweetie...I wish I knew what to say, when I know there are no words that can really help you.

    You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    I'm so very sorry.

    Hugs. Lots and lots of hugs.

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  14. AnonymousDecember 28, 2009 at 4:00 PM

    I know that hugs from a stranger will probably not make you feel better but I just wanted to offer some to let you know that people are out here reading about you and caring for you. I am so sorry that you have to face another setback. Life really can be awful sometimes. *HUGS*

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  15. MicheleDecember 28, 2009 at 4:04 PM

    oh honey. I am so sorry. I dont even know what to say. My heart cries with you.

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  16. AnonymousDecember 28, 2009 at 4:08 PM

    I have been following your blog for some time now.. I am so sorry that you didn't receieve good news today. This must be heart breaking for you and your Husband. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. I hope the New year brings some hope and peace.
    Hugs,
    Sarah

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  17. Lollipop GoldsteinDecember 28, 2009 at 4:11 PM

    Oh, sweetie, I am so so so sorry.

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  18. Catherine WDecember 28, 2009 at 4:21 PM

    Oh no. Oh Kristin. Devastated on your behalf. Too, too unfair. I'm so terribly sorry.

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  19. My Very Own AngelDecember 28, 2009 at 4:48 PM

    Oh gosh honey I'm so sorry. I'm just so so sorry

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  20. JulietDecember 28, 2009 at 5:02 PM

    I'm just devastated for you. So unfair. So wrong. I'm so so sorry.

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  21. AnnieDecember 28, 2009 at 5:05 PM

    I don't think there is a word to describe news like this. Devastating doesn't seem to go nearly far enough. It is an answer, so perhaps the way forward can be a little more clear, although terribly invasive and expensive - as if you haven't been through enough already!

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  22. MaryBethDecember 28, 2009 at 5:25 PM

    WTF??? Is there anything they can do?

    Hugs to you, friend.

    MB

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  23. Hope's MamaDecember 28, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    I am so terribly sorry. Devastated for you.

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  24. RachelDecember 28, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    Ugh I cant imagine your frustration! Doctors drive me mad !
    I am so sorry

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  25. Beautiful MessDecember 28, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    I'm so sorry, love. I truly am. Please know that I'm sending you SO much love and holding you so close to my heart right now.
    *HUGS*

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  26. AnonymousDecember 28, 2009 at 6:09 PM

    I echo everyone's sadness at this news. I am so sorry. And I'm sending lots of love to you xxxx

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  27. FireflyforeverDecember 28, 2009 at 6:23 PM

    Oh no, no, no. I am so very, very sorry. Thinking of you and your husband Kristin.

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  28. JamieWDecember 28, 2009 at 6:54 PM

    Horrible. I am angry for you. I am crying for you. I am so sorry.

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  29. DanaDecember 28, 2009 at 8:01 PM

    Kristen, I am so sorry that you didn't hear good news today. There are no words. I am so sorry and you are in my prayers.

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  30. MeghanDecember 28, 2009 at 8:46 PM

    Just wanted to say how terribly sorry I am . . . . Probably doesn't make you feel better. I am thinking of you.

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  31. ChristyDecember 28, 2009 at 8:50 PM

    Oh my gosh. Oh, no. Oh, this is so unfair (duh, I know you know that). Oh, honey, I am so sorry for this horrible news. I wish I knew what to do or say. I wish I had some inspiration for you.
    I am holding you close. Lots of hugs.
    xxoo

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  32. JillDecember 28, 2009 at 9:58 PM

    I am just so devastated for you. I am so sorry for this awful news. I wish I could make everything better.

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  33. DelennDecember 28, 2009 at 10:11 PM

    Fuck. I am so sorry. This is so unfair and meaningless.

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  34. Veronica LeeDecember 28, 2009 at 10:13 PM

    I'm so sorry. I'm still praying hard for you and haven't given up.

    ((((hugs and prayers)))

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  35. BethDecember 28, 2009 at 10:27 PM

    Devastated (and pissed)right along with you. Thinking of you and praying for you!

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  36. DebDecember 28, 2009 at 10:40 PM

    Krissy, I am so sorry to hear this news. But I have so much faith in your ability to find a way out of anything. I know that you'll have everything you truly want in your life. It's just time for Plan B. Don't lose sight of your goal...

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  37. KarenDecember 28, 2009 at 11:35 PM

    I'm so sorry, Kristin. I've been praying so hard for you today and just checked in now that we're home to see how your appointment went. I'm just at a loss at what to say to give you comfort other than that I'm sending you love and storming heaven still. xo

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  38. AnonymousDecember 29, 2009 at 2:48 AM

    Hi Kristin

    I've just had my adhesions discovered after 2 years of TTC. They might be able to help you with a laparoscopy to see where the damage is and how bad it is. They sometimes try to fix it by removing some of the scar tissue, but the problem is that it often causes more scar tissue. Blocked tubes are unbelievably common. And another weird thing is that they sporadically sometimes clear up. The good news is that the success rates for IVF with blocked tubes are really high. And like you saw on my blog, there are also alternative therapies. I'm still in two minds about it myself! I'm so sorry to read your story, it is devastating. I hope you get some really good news soon.

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  39. JeanetteDecember 29, 2009 at 3:10 AM

    Oh honey, I'm so so sorry, life is so shit sometimes,and you deserve so much more. Holding you close and holding on to hope for you. x

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  40. sara/emerging butterflyDecember 29, 2009 at 3:01 PM

    Kristin...

    First...I am really sorry you've gotten more shitty news to pile on top of the heap you've already had shoveled upon you!

    Second...bad tubes are not not not the end of your story. You have GOOD eggs! You know you do. They can do amazing things with good eggs, good sperm and a petri dish. Your uterus is NOT shot. You are NOT shot. You will make it...their is a path. There is an open door. And we are all here to hold your hands...because you are a wonderful mother, and you deserve to smile again.

    So much love...

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  41. still life angieDecember 29, 2009 at 4:54 PM

    I am just so sorry. XO. So unfair.

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  42. HollyDecember 30, 2009 at 5:54 PM

    My heart has just sunk read this. I can't believe it....I'm so sorry.

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  43. Lori Lavender LuzDecember 30, 2009 at 11:40 PM

    Abiding with you while you are angry and devastated.

    We are all supporting and loving you. XOXO

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  44. TrinityDecember 31, 2009 at 9:22 AM

    Sending warmth and support to you. I am so genuinely sorry... {{XXX}}

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  45. JuliaDecember 31, 2009 at 9:13 PM

    I am so sorry. This is a horrible news. So much to take and to process. And to wrap your mind around. I am sorry.

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  46. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2010 at 7:02 AM

    OMG.... haven't been here in a few days just to find out about your terrible news on LFCA. I hope a second opinion from another (trusted) doctor will give you more clarity.

    Sending hugs and all the good vibes I have! xoxo

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  47. ShinejilJanuary 1, 2010 at 9:33 AM

    I'm with some of the commenters above: Get a 2nd opinion. Dr. L's blog (http://infertilityblog.blogspot.com/) has a few posts about misread, misdiagnosed, and generally botched HSGs.

    Though it's completely understandable if this is the last thing you feel up to. Getting news like this is incredibly awful, after all you've had to face. Sending huge hugs and hope your way.

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  48. areyoukiddingmeJanuary 1, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    That absolutely sucks. I'm so sorry this is happening. I hope you will get a second opinion.

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  49. BethJanuary 1, 2010 at 11:56 PM

    :,(

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  50. Fruitful HarvestJune 7, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    ((((((Hugs and Prayers)))))

    Warmly,
    Georgiann

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  51. AnonymousApril 24, 2012 at 6:50 AM

    this made me want to cry , im so sorry for you big hugs
    nikki xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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