tired
hurting
sensitive
isolating
shattered
needy
anxious
desperate
hopeful
hopeless
lost
faithful
angry
despairing
desperate
hopeful
hopeless
lost
faithful
angry
despairing
exhausted
overwhelmed
frustrated
wondering
questioning
sad
lonely
in love
loved
overwhelmed
frustrated
wondering
questioning
sad
lonely
in love
loved
untrusting
an outsider
unsure
reflecting
unflinching
creating
too young
too old
misunderstood
jealous
broken
rising
passionate
flawed
withdrawn
of a different perspective
empty
pathetic
disheartened
longing
missing her
loving her
I am...
grieving.
an outsider
unsure
reflecting
unflinching
creating
too young
too old
misunderstood
jealous
broken
rising
passionate
flawed
withdrawn
of a different perspective
empty
pathetic
disheartened
longing
missing her
loving her
I am...
grieving.
~Kristin Binder
Yes. All of it.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written and so heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteOh my Goodness. This is exactly what I want to do tonight...This is one of the most powerful posts that I have read from you. LOL...I think the next time someone ask me how I feel I will simply give them my list.
ReplyDeleteI always think about how unfortunate it is that we have to know each other in these circumstances, but I'm glad I have granted the privilege to meet other moms like you.
Me too hun, me too. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteYep, me too.
ReplyDeletexo
It's so complicated, isn't it? I also feel as though my personality fractured when I learned my baby died and I'm a big jumble of emotion. I agree with Salma - I'll just give someone who asks your list to read. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteYes. Shaking my head vigorously, Yes.
ReplyDeleteI think we all feel these emotions through the process. I am so sorry. I wish I had the power to change it for all of us. Know we are here for you. xx
ReplyDeleteHi there...I just stumbled upon your blog tonight and it broke my heart. I lost my son, Trevor ,almost 5 years ago. He lived less than half an hour, and I can't imagine what my life would be like now, having gotten to know him for as long as you knew Peyton (that's my brother's name, by the way, and I've always loved it for a little girl). My heart goes out to you, and I don't know what your beliefs are, but I can only pray that God gives you peace. Losing a child is not something you'll ever "get over", but I want you to know that eventually, there will be good days...even if only every once in a while. I didn't believe it when people told me, but I promise. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your feeling this way...
ReplyDeleteI wish I had the right words to make you feel better.
Isn't it interesting that so many of us who read this post had the exact same word in response--one more word to your list?
ReplyDeleteYes.
-C.
The rollercoaster! Yes, we know it all too well. But know what happens after you get off? Relief. The "I did it" feeling. The confidence that asks the world to "bring it". Thing is, some rollercoasters last three minutes while others last much longer.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, if we can survive a rollercoaster, we can do almost anything else. The key is giving ourselves permission to ride through all the bumps, rattles, rises and dives, screaming or laughing whenever appropriate.
I think you're an expert rollercoaster rider. You'll see that, soon.
My favorite coaster is the original Batman at Six Flags, the one that lets my legs dangle. Yours?