Thursday, December 3, 2009

some up, some down - mels show and tell



I wanted to post something fun here. Really, I did. The tone of this blog, and my life, has been sort of on the down side lately, although to be honest, when blogging about babyloss is there truly an up? Anyway, I wanted to post something fun. Then I got another BFN this morning, I really felt like this morning was a possible shot. Today is 38 days. A long time to wait for a BFP by most calculations, but that is how long it took with Peyton, so I held out hope. But this morning, among the rain and wind and utter crappiness of the day, that elusive second line continued to, well, elude me. Oh well.

I could write about how this makes me feel, but you all know. So instead for Show and Tell, I will share some pictures that I had put in a post in October, but never published. It's a happy one, I promise. You will be glad you stuck with it and read on.

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Last October, just days after Peyton passed away, my friend, Nicole, ran the Hartford Marathon in her honor, to raise funds for the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society.  What makes this even more impressive is the fact that Nicole is not a marathon runner, just a friend with a huge heart who wanted to do something to help.


Nicole set out on her 26 mile journey with the thousands of other runners, but between mile 6 and 7, she suffered a major injury to her thigh. This would have stopped others, but not Nicole. She continued on, walking and limping through the pain, for the remaining 19 miles.



Everyone, including her coach, told her it was time to throw in the towel, but Nicole remained steadfast and determined. I asked her once how she made it through, and she simply explained that since Peyton never gave up, she felt she couldn't either.



At one of the final mile markers, Nicole passed the sign that the Leukemia/Lymphoma society had hung in Peyton's honor, and grabbing hold of it, she headed for the finish line.



The day Nicole ran this race, we could not attend. Peyton had just died the week prior, and I was still in full "shut-in" mode. When I look at these pictures now, it breaks my heart that I wasn't there, but Nicole understood, and she told me that she knew we were supporting her from home, and we were.



After the race, Nicole came and presented us with the sign, which we keep in our living room, and with an honorary medal from the race, for Peyton, who, as Nicole put it, "was with me every step of the way."


Below is a picture of the display case in my living room, with all of the treasures from Nicole's marathon run in Peyton's honor. On my darkest days I like to look at it and remind myself that yes, we have been dealt a bum deal losing Peyton and suffering infertility, but we have also been truly blessed by the love of some amazing friends like Nicole, who went on this year again, undeterred by the pain of last year's race, and ran the marathon again to raise more funds for Leukemia research.



To see what others are showing and telling, visit here.

27 comments:

  1. Wow! Nicole is amazing to be injured and continue the marathon in memory of Peyton. What a wonderful friend! The picture of Peyton on the sign is adorable. xx

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  2. I'm bawling reading this. You have such a wonderful friend.

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  3. Beautiful, I have tears in my eyes. You are so, so blessed to have such amazing friends and family to support you through this horrible journey. What an amazing thing for your friend to do in honour of sweet Peyton. *hugs*

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  4. how inspiring that she never gave up. You have a great friend. Thank you for sharing

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  5. I am in tears right now. Your friend continuing on in the pain... That just touched me so deeply.

    A dear friend of mine is a runner. I asked her once how she keeps going when she is tired, whatever. She told me that she thinks of our children and that she runs because they cant. It broke my heart. And also expanded it because it showed me the beauty in the human race.

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  6. Nicole sound like an amazing lady. I wish I had gotten a chance to know your Peyton. She has inspired so many people.

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  7. What a wonderful friend - but that was nothing less than your Peyton deserved.

    Sorry about the BFN.

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  8. I had to stop midway through to wipe away tears. Nicole sounds like such an amazing friend and I'm glad to know you have such supportive people in your life! I've said it before and I'll say it again, Peyton changed so many lives in her short time on earth and she continues to do so from Heaven!

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  9. *tears* your friend Nicole is amazing to do that in honor of sweet Peyton. Everytime I come to your blog, the picture of Peyton up top is so beautiful and makes me smile. Im sorry for your BFN sweetie, hang in there. Hugs, Nan xo

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  10. This post brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful friend Nicole is.

    I'm sorry about your BFN. I also got a BFN this morning. It sucks!

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  11. What a beautiful friend you have in Nicole Kristin. I teared up reading that too. As for the no show from AF, I must be on a sympathy cycle for you because I'm late and definitely NOT pregnant after having my tubes tied....This journey is so difficult, hugging you.

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  12. All I can say is AWESOME! What treasured memories and a great friend.
    I will also be praying for you for your "Rainbow," we so deserve them!!!! :-)
    HUGS
    Brandy

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  13. I couldn't hold back the tears reading this, it touched me so very dear. Your friend is amazing!

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  14. What a wonderful friend you have! It is nice to you how much your baby is loved by others isn't it? Thank you for sharing that story, it is very inspiring. Take care!

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  15. BFFs are the best. Yours rock. Always a Mama you and I live like 1 hour apart. I see a lunch date in our future, don't you?

    Read my blog entry today and I dare you not to wipe away tears of laughter. It is not finished... hysterical story about our courtship and marriage (dated 2+ weeks and eloped).

    I know on this day you are feeling somber.. go and laugh hun.

    And as always, don't give up, Always a Mama.

    Hugs for today and every day. Hurry and consider us meeting before I move back to DC! House goes back on market in late Feb... the boys will give you hope... I turn 48 in Jul....

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  16. The determination and love of your friend Nicole is inspiring. She did a wonderful thing by participating in and finishing the marathon even when she was told to quit.

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  17. What a beautiful tribute - and so lovely that she gave you all the "stuff". It's really a lovely tribute to Peyton.

    I'm sorry about another BFN.

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  18. This post made me cry. I may not always comment, but I always read and this is so beautiful... To have a friend like that is such an amazing thing.

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  19. What a friend! I am amazed at her determination after being injured! What a tribute to your Peyton's life.

    xo

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  20. what a wonderful friend, she is a keeper!! I am bawling right now. Lots of hugs to you!

    Nicolle

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  21. Krissy, how lucky you are to have a friend like Nicole. And how lucky she was to have been so inspired by Peyton to have accomplished this race.

    Heartwarming!

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  22. What a nice thing to do for you and Peyton. I plan on doing something similar, I'd like to walk in the March of Dimes march for all our lost babies.

    xo

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  23. I read this post with tears in my eyes. You are blessed.

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  24. What a gift to have been touched by an angel like Peyton. Such strength...integrity....love. Your daughter lives on in the inspiration she creates...in the hearts she has moved. ((HUG)) It's just so wonderful....in spite of the horror...it is beautiful.

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  25. That is awesome that your friend ran the marathon for Peyton.. It certainly shows that she is a true friend, through thick and thin. Friends like her are hard to come by. Thinking of you today, and always... And keeping EVERYTHING crossed that you get that much deserved BFP soon. ((hugs))

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  26. This gave me chills. What a wonderful friend.

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