Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Nearly A Year
This Friday will mark one year since you left this earth, and as I write this to you I wonder how that can be when the thought of you, of all that you went through, of holding you that very last time still brings the same physical response. Time has been no match for these automatic things. The clenching in my heart. The rush of heat to the back of my eyes. The feeling of being completely overwhelmed. The urge to fight out of disbelief. Nearly a year has passed my sweet girl, and yet so little has changed. The days mark off the calendar. The lives of those around us progress. My body and face, showing signs of age, testify to the passage of time, but the progression of our lives, of our dreams, of all we had expected and hoped for remains still, shocked by all that happened into a state of perpetual pause. Your room sits untouched. Your presents sit in piles, still neatly wrapped. Your clothes, never worn, hang on hangers with tags. Nearly a year has passed, my sweet girl. Nearly a year, and I am still waiting.