Sunday, September 4, 2011

Happy Third Birthday Peyton!


Happy Third Birthday Sweet Girl!

Today we celebrate your birth, not as I would like, with candles and a cake and you running around, little curls bouncing, with all your friends, but in the best way that the situation allows. We are stamping the last of the books that came in for the Doing Good In Her Name book drive today, so that they can be dropped off at the NICU this week, and then we will head to your grave with Gramma, Pop-Pop, and your siblings, to put in some pavers around your garden and add some new life to the plantings there.

I wish I could hold you, and sing Happy Birthday, but instead I will close my eyes, and go to that place we once shared, when I held you to my chest, sang "Smile", and drummed a soft tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap against your back.

Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile, even though it's breaking. Where there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by. If you smile, through your fear and sorrow. Smile, and maybe tomorrow. You'll see the sun come shining through, if you just smile. 

Mommy is tone deaf, but you let her sing anyway. Do you remember?

I so wish you were here little girl. Safe. Healthy. Whole. I wish... I wish... I wish... Just know how loved you are. How missed you are. That regardless of the the space and the time and the universe that keeps us apart you are still my daughter. I am still your mother. Nothing, not even death, can erase that.

Happy Birthday Peyton.

Momma loves you!






27 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday, beautiful Peyton! Big hugs to you mama, these birthdays are so hard.

    -Angie

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  2. Happy Birthday sweet Peyton! Know that your mommy is living strong and helping other Baby Loss Mommies around the world. Whisper in your siblings' ears to give her extra smiles when her heart is heavy. I hope you are friends with my son Trey. I am blessed to call your mommy friend and you were doubly blessed to have her as your Mommy. Fly high sweet angel girl! HUGS

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  3. Happy birthday Peyton - one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen.

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  4. Typing through my tears... What a beautiful birthday post/tribute to your daughter. Holding you close in my thoughts and prayers as you honor the life and memory of your sweet Peyton. Those lyrics are so bittersweet. I believe that Peyton is smiling today knowing how much good you have done in her name and how proud she must be of you, your husband and her younger brother and sister. It's hard to believe it has been 3 years since your daughter Peyton and my daughter Molly were here. Remembering and abiding with you. ((((HUGS)))

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  5. Happy birthday, Peyton. (((HUGS)))

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  6. Happy Birthday Peyton, wish you were there to celebrate with your mom and family.

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  7. My heart is breaking for you all over again. She remembers, she feels your love today and always. My wish for you on Peyton's third birthday is that you will feel her love you right back. I also hope that you can feel the love from all of us. Happy 3rd birthday sweet Peyton. You are not forgotten.

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  8. Tears Tears Tears. Happy Birthday sweet baby Peyton. All my broken hearted love to you mama.

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  9. Holding you in my thoughts today ((hugs))

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  10. Happy Birthday Peyton. What a beautiful girl. Thinking of you as you remember. xx

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  11. Happy Birthday Peyton..Beautiful Beautiful Lady. Brandy

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  12. Remembering sweet Peyton...and sending love and prayers for you...

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  13. Happy birthday sweet baby girl. Memory eternal.

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  14. Happy 3rd birthday, beautiful, beautiful Peyton. I so wish you were here celebrating with your mommy.
    Much love,
    Christy
    http://almostamother.blogspot.com

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  15. We love and miss her so much. Happy birthday darling Peyton.
    xo

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  16. Happy 3rd birthday to beautiful baby Peyton. (I sent a card to your PO box)
    I wish Peyton were here to celebrate. I know she feels your love from her home in Heaven. xoxo

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  17. Happy b'day Peyton. You had a reason to be here. Your mommy and we are friends now, helping each other in our sorrows. Love you Peyton, (hugs). Hope you are frineds with my little son, Muhammed. Happy B'day from Muhammed's Mom.

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  18. Happy Birthday beautiful Peyton. x

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  19. That picture is just gorgeous. I'm in tears reading this post. I so wish Peyton was here with you and the family. I'm sure she remembers your terrible singing ;) I used to feel Mackenzie kick the most to rap music so she was definitely cool, lol. Thinking of you always, and especially the next 28 days.

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  20. Happy Birthday to you sweet little Peyton!
    My prayers are with you!

    Peace and Love,
    Georgiann

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  21. Thinking of you and your family Kristin, and wishing your sweet Peyton was here to celebrate her 3rd birthday. She was so lucky to have a mama like you. I really do hope her and Zachery have found each other, as you and I have found each other because of them, to hold each other up when we feel like falling. Peyton will never be forgotten, heavy hearts with you, especially as the next 27 days pass. Love and Hugs

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  22. Happy birthday, remembering it as a day of life. Your words brought tears to my eyes. Despite how powerful something that sad could still be, you took that power and transformed it with love, doing more good for others. It is inspiring hope. Please realize the strength you provide others through your vulnerability and through your actions. She is lucky to have a mom like you :)

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  23. Abiding with you and thinking of Peyton today and everyday. Happy Birthday.

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  24. Wishing Peyton a belated happy birthday. Thinking of you and your family.

    xo

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  25. Typing through my tears and heartache. What a fantastic/beautiful/heartfelt tribute to your beautiful Peyton. Your love knows no bounds and Peyton shares that with you daily.

    Holding you close in my thoughts and prayers as you honor the life and memory of your sweet Peyton.

    I will be thinking of you and your family in the next few weeks as I am sure this is a difficult time.

    How I wish sweet, strong Peyton was here to run around, blow out her candles and give you a hug.

    Prayers!

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  26. Happy birthday, Peyton! You are such a beautiful girl and WOW! What a difference your life has made in the lives of so many people!

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  27. That is such a beautiful picture of Peyton, thank you so much for sharing her. Hard to believe 3 years have passed. Birthday's are so so hard. That song just gives me the chills.

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