Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Ugh...

Take a deep breath, and repeat after me:  


This too shall pass. 
This too shall pass. 
This too shall pass.


Do we believe it yet?

So it's confirmed. I have OHSS - Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome, a side effect of IVF that causes your overstimulated ovaries to become so engorged with fluid, that the fluid then gets poured out into your abdomen. Apparently refusing to look up OHSS on Google, and being in denial, does not actually protect you from developing it... who knew!

I am on day three of bed rest, and from what my doctor told me today, I have many, many more in my future. She wants me on the couch all day, with the exception of the occassional walk to the bathroom to keep me from getting a blood clot sitting around. She told me today that she believes that the pain I experienced after my transfer was probably one of my giganto ovaries twisting. "Lucky for me," she said, "it twisted back." If it hadn't, she explained, I would have needed surgery.

I am starting to feel like Murphy's law. Let's do the rundown, shall we?

Pregnancy #1 - Elation, followed by miscarriage.
Pregnancy #2 - Elation, followed by childbirth, followed by extreme traumatic loss of child to disease with 1 in 50 Million odds.
Infection leading to Infertility
Infertility requiring IVF
IVF leading to OHSS

Do you see where I am going with this?

I have some of the major risk factors of OHSS. I am young, and produced a huge number of follicles (over 60 per ovary.) The good news is that my little embryos, Emma and Emelio, will not be affected by this. The bad news is that my ovaries are now so large they can be felt ABOVE my belly button, and I am stretched in my stomach like I am 5 months along.

Wait, scratch that. I just checked out a picture of me at 5 months with Peyton, for comparison. Yes. I know. There is no makeup on, and my hair is undone in this pic, but I am posting it anyway.

(Hey, do you all like that hideous wallpaper in the background? Have no fears, that came down during my nesting period.)



So here I sit, typing this two days post transfer, and already I am much bigger than I was in this picture, and not in the cute little basketball way above, but more in an all over bloatey, gross and utterly uncomfortable way. No, don't worry. I won't be attaching any pictures of that.

Apparently there is no "cure" for OHSS, just various attempts at treatment. Well, that's a lie. There is one cure - Aunt Flow. If she comes, OHSS resolves on its own, but she *fingers crossed* is not coming to town, so onto plan number 2.

The doctors have put me on an extremely high salt, high protein diet, and have ordered me to drink Gatorade all day long. Sounds bizarre, I know. Apparently the salt and electrolytes from the food and Gatorade are meant to suck the extra fluid from my abdomen, and into my veins, so that it can be processed out of my body. I even get the joy of peeing into this little top hat looking thing that is now accessorizing my formerly boring bowl, and reporting my progress to some nurse each morning. Sorry... TMI?

If I am pregnant *sticky vibes*, the problem will actually get worse before it is better, and if both Emma and Emelio decide to stick around, the hormones of having a multiple pregnancy will have me floating down the street like a Macy's Parade Balloon. OHSS can, as my RE told me, last through the first trimester, correcting itself only once the HCG levels level off.

So now I wait, and hope for the best. If the fluid gets too high, my doc will have me admitted to the hospital for observation and my stomach drained. During today's exam, they saw blood and fluid in my abdomen (the blood most likely from the Egg Retrieval Surgery) but not enough fluid to warrant draining.

Let's all collectively pray that this gets better, or that I can at least control it with the bed rest and diet. They took a bunch of blood from me today, to get a firmer understanding of all that is going on, but told me my vitals look good, and that that is a good sign. Tomorrow I will get the blood results, and hopefully they will look fine too.

Until then, its soup and gatorade and salt licks for me, as I sit on my couch repeating this mantra over and over...


This too shall pass.

31 comments:

  1. Oh man........... I'm so sorry. I've had my ovary torse 4 separate times, 3 of which required surgery, so believe me when I say "been there, done that."

    I'm praying for everything to turn itself around, those embryos to stick, and life to finally give you a freaking rainbow.

    Hang in there.

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  2. I'll be praying that Emelio and Emma decide to stick around for a long long time! *HUGS*

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  3. I am new to reading your blog but I wanted to chime in and let you know that it does get better. I got pregnant after Gonal F shots and an IUI and had OHSS and was pregant with triplets so I had three growing babies competing for room with a giant Ovary! I had to be put on pain meds for the first few weeks but it finally did stop hurting and I have three healthy 18 month old little girls that are the best things of my life! Praying that you get your new blessings!

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  4. WTF?!?

    laugh it up God, laugh it up.

    and thank you for the salt lick visual... made me giggle.

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  5. Oh dear.... praying for you, and Emma and Emelio.

    try to enjoy your gaterade and salt licks as much as possible!!

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  6. Oh my goodness, this really suck!. I pray Emma and Emilio stick around and that you will be relieved from all this pain. You have been through so much. With all this you need to see some sunshine!!! Keep your head up!!! For now enjoy your saltine crackers and gatorade, it will only be for a little bit, ((HUGS)).

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  7. Bless your heart. Seriously, what else is there to say? I usually say the motto of my life is, "If it can, it will..."

    But, I may just share that with you.

    I'm glad they are closely monitoring. I admit I was a little scared for you when I was reading yesterday because I OHSS seemed so, well...imminent (of course, not possessing an RE degree means that I will keep my mouth shut until someone who DOES possess one gives you the confirmation!).

    This may sound weird, but in addition to all that stuff you are already on, one of the things I did (after they let me go home from hospital but only on bedrest) until the negative pregnancy test (sort of cruel that the ONE THING you DESPERATELY want will only make the OHSS worse, huh?) was eat popcorn. All the time. Salty, salty popcorn. With lots of butter (although I was so nauseated sometimes that I had to lay off the butter)...I love salty, buttery popcorn and for the first time ever, doctors were telling me to eat up!!

    Prayers that the treatments make the difference you need and that Emma and Emilio like salt!!!

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  8. I'm so sorry! I hope it will all be worth it and both little ones stick around! I will pray that you can be relieved from the pain. I too like MB had to giggle when I visualized you sitting there licking a block of salt.

    Stay strong!!!

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  9. Oh yuck...haven't you endured enough?? I know you will gladly go through this to get those sweet babies at the end, but I hope the pain subsides and you feel better with little ones tucked safely inside very, very soon. xx

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  10. Hugs. I want to say I hope it passes soon but I really want Emma and Emilio to stick around so I'm not sure what say. Except that it sucks you're having to deal with this on top of everything else.

    My DH would think it was great if the doctor ordered him onto a high protein high salt diet...

    Hang in there.

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  11. Oh wow, Kristin. I am sorry you're going through so much. Praying for Emma and Emelio to stick around and for your pain to go away. XOXO

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  12. Oh dear. I'm so sorry. One of my friend had OHSS and it was awful. But she went on to have a healthy pregnancy and boy girl twins. I hope it will all be worth it for you too. xo

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  13. I am so sorry. I never had OHSS, but I learned all about it just in case. As you said there is nothing you can do right now other then rest. So make sure you stay off those feet! I am thinking sticky thoughts for your embryos!

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  14. You poor dear...praying with and for you...I am so sorry every step has to met with a challenge. Guess "challenge" is a gross understatement...Just so sorry...

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  15. Wow, you aren't kidding. Black cloud would be putting it lightly! So sorry you are dealing, praying this will pass QUICKLY, so you can enjoy your little growing people...

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  16. This too shall pass. I hope you avoid the need to have fluid drained. Saying a prayer that this journey has a happy ending.

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  17. This too shall pass indeed! Jeesh you have been through ENOUGH! *hugs* Praying for you!!

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  18. I haven't commented here in a long time, that doesn't mean I haven't been reading :) I took a bit of a break from blogging but kept coming back to read yours. I just wanted to drop in and say I envy your strength. You are such a strong, amazing woman and not many of us could face each day as you do. You're truly an inspiration to me and I'm sure many other women who read your blog. You're in my thoughts as well as Emma and Emilio! I agree this too shall pass! Lots of hugs!!!

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  19. ouch.... you can get ' tissue salts' in australia for lots of different things. one of which is to get rid of excess fluid in your body ( called - fluid balance, nat mur ). i took them after my c section as i had hobbit feet and legs and they worked over night. they are more from a health food store than a drug store, if you know someone who works in alternative therapies they may help you find them. they are small white homeopathic tablets you put under your tongue and are not harmful. best of luck and sticky dust. btw, i only grew 12 follicles so wow to you! xxx

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  20. I had to giggle.. I know it is painful becuase I too did this.. Mine was so bad that I could not do my Fresh transfer.. so all my Embies were frozen....I went to the hospital... and they gave me enough narcotic to stun an elephant Yet somehow I still felt it.. POOR YOU!!!!! Hang in there little babies... hang in there!!!!!

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  21. ohmygosh, this sounds terrible! I'm so naive about IVF and I had no idea this could happen-and I'm so, so sorry that it did :(
    you poor thing :(
    lots and lots of hugs to you-I know it will all be worth it, but it shouldn't be this hard!!!!! (in soooo many ways, of course)

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  22. Oh my heavens! What else? I'm so sorry you're going through so much but here's hoping it's all worth it in the end.

    Hugs and prayers!

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  23. First of all I am sending sticky vibes... lots of them! And I really, really, really hope you feel better. You're in my thoughts. XOXO

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  24. I will pray for you and for Emma and Emillio. Hope they will be ok. Just hang in there, remember you're doing this for them, for your own happiness.
    God bless you
    Take care

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  25. Whoah! Sticky vibes to you! Prayers and thoughts that you feel OK soon.:(

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  26. Oh, Sweet Friend, I have no words. I have so much love for your family and think of you often. The words "not fair" don't even come close to your situation. All I can say is that our God is an awesome one, and I am certain that he is hearing your cry for mercy. You are in my prayers and on my mind :)

    Much love,
    Erin
    www.2crowns2tiaras.blogspot.com

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  27. I've been debating whether or not to say this, and I'm certainly no expert, but it's my understanding that they should be watching you very carefully while you stim, and cut back on the meds if it looks like there are already enough follicles? I'm generally in a bit of a bad mood today which could be influencing the fact that I'm annoyed with your doctors for letting this happen to you. I think it could have been prevented... 60 follicles is way too many, and they should have done something about this 10 days ago already. Like I said, just my totally uneducated opinion! I hope like crazy that you feel better soon. Or your doctors are going to get it from me ;-)

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  28. hugsssssss...you deserve many many hugss and a beautiful healthy rainbow. I hope you get both.

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  29. this too shall pass and the outcome will be OH SO WORTH IT, (in about 9 months) SENDING GOOOOOOD thoughts,vibes,prayers and anything else I can think of!!!

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  30. Youre in my thoughts! I hope you are feeling better from your complications and resting up. This is all very exciting, and I wish you the best.

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  31. I didnt have OHSS but just from producing 3 follicles with Bobby and Maya, at my PP check up my ovaries were still so huge that I had to have several u/s's to confirm there wasnt an issue to worry about!

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