Thursday, April 8, 2010

Slowly but Surely

Have you heard about the hottest fashion trend this Spring?
Permanent red Gatorade mustaches. 
Not convinced? 

In the last two days alone, I have pounded down about 4 gallons of Gatorade and Smart Water, eaten the saltiest of salty things, and sat around, for the most part, like a lump, and you know what? I think it is working!

The painful pressure feels a little lighter on my chest and back today, and I know I am jumping the gun in thinking this means I have begun taking a turn for the better, because I always feel best in the morning, but at this point, I will celebrate any relief that comes my way.

I spoke with my RE yesterday, who said that with the exception of my white blood cell count being a little high, my blood work looks good. Of course, a high WBC count is a total trigger for me, having lost Peyton to Leukemia, so news that should have been no big deal for me, sent me through a tail spin of fear and what ifs. I told the doctor about my fears, and he assured me that just two weeks ago my numbers were totally normal, and that he is sure this is from the stress that having grossly oversized ovaries is putting on my body. 

I hate triggers, and after a traumatic loss, so many things, even unexpected things, can be triggers. I talked about this with my therapist yesterday, about how much I hate that the simplest things can cause utter panic in my heart. It's like any sense of security flew out that window with Peyton's soul. I'd like to go back to that place, that happy naive, innocent place, but then I realize that after all that we have been through, I don't think we would be welcome back there anyway.

My RE instructed me to continue resting, and said that I still can't exercise :( but that I can take a "little stroll here or there." Last night I "strolled" with hubs into Walmart for more Gatorade, my first time out of the house since Sunday, except for my doctors appointment, and this morning, I took Charlotte for a little pee walk, although honestly now I am totally wiped out so that might be all my "strolling" today.

On the brighter side of things, I am having a few "symptoms." I don't know if they are brought on just by the progesterone or what, but I had taken progesterone to bring this cycle on, and never experienced them then. My chest has a kind of tugging ache when I move too fast, and EVERYTHING, good or bad, smells really strongly to me. I know it is still too early to tell, but I guess feeling something is better than feeling nothing.

Either way, one week from today, we will know for sure.

**Side note... I have heard from a few women who want to spend International Babyloss Mother's Day Together on 5/2, here in the Connecticut Area. If there is anyone else who would like to join us, please email me at doinggoodinhername(at)gmail(dot)com.


  1. Here's to Gatorade moustaches!!! Happy to hear that some of the symptoms of OHSS are abating. And here's to more symptoms from your little ones! I am sure that Peyton is holding you and her siblings close.
    Take Care of your self - may the next week go well and the heavens shout with glee next week at your beta!

  2. LOL I MUST have a Gatorade mustache - I always try to stay current with the fashions!
    I, as I'm sure many others, are waiting with our breath held and fingers crossed for you! I'm really hoping those symptoms mean what we all hope they do! xx

  3. I am so counting down the days till you know for sure! I cant wait for the BIG post. Sending you sticky vibes mama! and yay for feeling better.

  4. I know those triggers well, how heartbreaking. Praying that the next week goes SOOO fast!

  5. Oh, I do hope those are early signs of pregnancy you're having! I am so glad you're starting to see improvement- baby steps, my dear! Here's to the next week flying by!


  6. Glad that if even brief, you are feeling a glimmer of better!!!! Keep that good gatorade mustaching up!!!

  7. Thinking of you and hope 1 week will wonderful news! Take it easy!!

  8. Those triggers that hit out of the blueare horrid.

    As for symptoms, honestly, I always started noticing smells and having weird appetite effects about a 5 days or so before I tested positive (even with my pre-IF pregnancies). I'm praying for you.

  9. Just got caught up on all your posts! Seems I've missed a lot! I hope that you'll have good news soon! I bet Gatorade is happy their profits are up. lol Better than drinking salt water.

  10. YUCK..certainly better than salt water (lol Holly) and 1 week is not that bad.. I can wait for good news!!

  11. Just think.... even though it is too soon to tell.. those embies have inplanted. It only takes a few days for that to happen Soooo you are pregnant... right now... YES you are!!!!! we only wait now to see if they "stick" can I am really hoping for you!! Also - don't feel presure to tell us if you are or not.. when the time comes I know you'll know when and how to tell us all.. I'm cheering in your corner!

  12. Glad to hear the symptoms are easing off a bit. Take it easy and I have everything crossed for good news in a week.

    Maddie x

  13. Praying you are pregnant! Waiting is the worst!! Can't wait to hear :)

  14. Hope everything settles down soon and you get fantastic news next week. You are in my thoughts and prayers


  15. Waiting for the good news...Hugsssssss

  16. Glad you're feeling a tiny bit better.
    Rooting for Emma and Emelio.