I don't really know who is reading this blog, but I figure that those who do come here are probably on their own journey through loss (child loss, infant loss, miscarriage, infertility, loss of loved one etc etc). In an effort to find comfort in knowing that I/you/we are not alone in our feelings when the wrong words are said, I have decided to start a comments post on this topic. We will see how it goes, and maybe do this on other topics in the future.
I have written a few times about platitudes (everything happens for a reason etc) and other hurtful comments and just simply stupid things that people have said to me since Peyton died. Sometimes people say things and you smile politely knowing that they couldn't possibly have meant to hurt you with their words, other times they send you through the roof with their callous stupidity. This post is intended to offer you the opportunity to respond the way you wish you had at the time.
Here is how this will work.
Click the Comments below this post.
Choose to Comment Anonymously if you like.
Here I will go first:
To the person that wrote to me asking what I had done to give my daughter cancer so that they could make sure not to do the same in their own pregnancy... how dare you! Are you really that stupid? I will tell you what I did. I ate organic foods. I exercised five days a week until my ninth month. I was a fanatic about prenatal care. Can you, with your pointed finger and stupid questions say that you did the same? And yet, you were blessed with healthy children. Are you really so self centered that you didn't know that this question would linger in my mind? Do you not think that I have spent every second of every day scrutinizing why and how this could happen to Peyton, to us? You, with little effort, have beautiful healthy children. Maybe you should be spending less time slinging blame and accusations at me, and more time thanking whatever God you pray to for your good fortune.