I hate stupid people...

I hate stupid people.

I will re-phrase that.
I hate stupid pregnant people.

I was browsing BabyCenter yesterday and came upon a post titled "Air Your Pregnancy Sins." The woman heading up the post had a profile picture of her healthy, living, firstborn child in her arms.

Must be nice.

I opened the post, and what followed left me simultaneously shocked and disgusted. Some of the over 100 posts were mundane (I eat pizza, I like junk food, I don't work out, etc. etc.) but several of them were by women patting themselves on the backs for doing things in their pregnancies like eating raw sushi, drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, smoking pot, taking prescription painkillers against OB advice, drinking bourbon, sitting in hot tubs, and disregarding any an all warnings about soft cheeses, cold cuts and the like.

These "mothers" were actually BRAGGING to one another about their behaviors, saying things like, "I smoked cigarettes, or pot, or drank through my last pregnancy and all was fine" and it just made my blood boil that while I spent my pregnancy with Peyton eating all organic and working out, it was not these women who were forced to put their child in the ground, it was me.

Where, I ask you, is the justice in that?

I literally wanted to reach through the computer and shake these women and tell them that they are awful, selfish mothers. I wanted to tell them how unfair it is that they got to be so goddamned nonchalant and cavalier about the lives of THEIR CHILDREN, and that putting their babies at risk is nothing to be proud of. I wanted to smack some sense into their heads and say "Hey you, idiot, you are RESPONSIBLE for the health of your baby. Your condition is not an inconvenience. It is not an accessory. It is a privilege! Do you know how many women would kill to be in your position? Do you know how many women struggle for years to achieve pregnancy? Do you have any idea what you are risking? That is your baby!"

I wanted to scream.
And scream.
And scream.

But I realized there was no point.

My cries and pleas would just fall on deaf ears because for reasons far beyond my realm of human understanding, reasons that I won't have answers for in this life and will most likely never make peace with,  the hard lessons of loss are reserved for mothers like me, mothers who planned for and wanted and loved their children. Mothers who did everything in their power to keep their children healthy, and would have done anything to keep them alive.

It is mothers like me for whom the great heartache and loss are reserved, while women like THAT seem to get a free pass in this life.